Letter #1: Turning 51

Hello, my darling girl,

You’re about to turn 21 and I’m about to turn 51. So almost 30 years separates us now, but in some ways I feel closer to you than I have since I was back there. Twenty-one is a big turning point, but not so important as you might think right now. You’re still at Austin College, finishing up junior year. I remember it all so well! I gotta tell you — the most Important thing you can do in the next 18 months is spend as much time with your friends there as you possibly can. Love them and learn about them because they are — and will continue to be — the single most important group of people you’ll know for the next 30 years. Many good things will come from knowing them and they are, without hesitation, some of the finest people you’ll meet in our life. Enjoy every minute of your time with them. And party ON!

Love,

Me

Letter #2: Right Now I Have the Best Job EVER

Dear Paige,

I’m on a lunch break at work and it occurs to me to tell you something. Right now I have the best job ever. Please enjoy being in theatre right now and don’t for a second question your choice to do that instead of going to medical school. It’s giving you mad skills you will use professionally for at least 30 years ahead. No, it’s not going to be your profession and you’re going to get let down in the next few years as you figure it all out. But hang tight and learn how to act, direct, build the sets, hang the lights, interpret the scripts, and most of all, hang out with your technical theatre teacher, Andy. He knows everything you need to know about being a project manager and being a fine human being. When he tells you to believe in yourself and your abilities, do it. He’s right. You’re going to learn how to manage both people and work and will find yourself in a fabulous company that cares about their people and is willing to take risks for them — and you’ll be in the big middle of it all!

More soon,

Me

Letter #3: How I Got to the Best Job Ever

Hey you!

I totally get that you’re wondering what I’m doing professionally and how I got here. You should probably sit down for this...

At age 24 you’re going to make your way into high tech in Austin Texas at the height of the tech boom and learn all about building software and the people who make it happen. HOWEVER. When you turn 28 you’re going to be called to the service of others in a big way. It presents itself as a feeling that you need to join the Episcopal clergy, but you’re actually going to go into the counseling program at the seminary instead. In a pretty cool turn of events you’re going to become a Licensed Professional Counselor and psychotherapist by the time you’re 34. Seriously. But it turned out to only be a stepping stone to a bigger career.

You’re going to specialize in complex grief and become a highly-skilled trauma specialist and do private practice for 12 years. Then you’re going to turn it all sideways when you become one of the very first people ever to run a trauma-informed management program in a corporation because you still love people who build software. I told you, you needed to sit down. Just know you’re going to go on a fantastic ride with fantastic people and you’re going to do SO MUCH GOOD for others. Take comfort in that. I do.

— Me

Letter #4: Hombres

Dear Paige,

I seem to remember that you’re with Charles these days. Or is it Jason? My lack of memory should show you how insignificant both of them will become over time. I know they can hurt you and honestly, they’re going to continue to do so for awhile. Love them but learn from them, too, and then let go when your gut tells you it’s enough.

You’re going to meet two special men who really matter along the way and you’re not going to marry either of them. There are lots of boyfriends and dating, even a girlfriend or two, but no one who is going to stick around for a long time, at least as a partner. I think this is because you and I made a priority out of enjoying life and living it completely. We seem to be too observant of others and it scares them or they think it’s magic or something. You’re going to have to deal with all the garbage around growing up in a house with our parents (there is so much therapy in your future, girl!). We get excited about and invested in new things like going to school and wanting to create and write and sing and play drums and, and, and…

I can tell you that there are very few regrets, lots of godchildren, a precious nephew, and great pets.

I love you. I am so proud of you. You have quite a journey ahead. Hang tight, love hard, forgive yourself, and laugh. I’ll write again soon.

Love, 

Me

Letter #5: Storm Warning

Sweetheart,

This letter is a Storm Warning of sorts. Almost 30 years apart from you, I’m writing this between your semesters so you have time to digest and reflect before your senior year starts…

You’re going to have Dad with you until you’re 50. I won’t tell you exactly what happens, but you’re going to do alright and its nothing to ultimately be afraid of. The relationship you have with him is going to become incredibly complicated in the next 15 years of your life and you will discover things about yourself and him you cannot even imagine right now. Good things and not-so-good things. Your brother will come and go as a fixture in your life but he will show up when Mom and Dad start to decline. I’m sharing a time of closeness with him right now that is amazing and he’s shown up in some great ways. Oh, and your nephew! He’s the brightest penny we’ve ever seen and you’re going to fall head over heels with this complicated, weird, fantastically funny little boy.

You’re going to deal with Alzheimer’s again, baby.

It’ll show up in Mama when you’re about 45. It’s a similar ride to what you’re going through right now with Grandmommy. It’s crazy, but we have that in common at this time in both our lives. Everything you’re learning now will come back to you and you and your brother will handle it about as well as anyone can. I have to be honest and tell you that it’s WAY different with Mom than it was with Grandmommy. Harder. It’s not our first rodeo and you gained fantastic “dementia whispering” skills — but the trip is just as difficult, exhausting, and heartbreaking for me these days as it is for you 30 years ago. Just know I love you and that I remember where you are in your life. I’m your biggest fan. You’re going to carry on and being a caregiver at such a young age is forming the woman and professional you’ll become.

With all my love,

Me